“Because I Said So”

You may remember these words from your childhood as irritating as salt on a wound. At least that was the sting I felt when my Mom announced the same to me.

Now, 56 years old, I yearn to hear not only the phase but strain the memory to bring forth the directions preceding the statement. Some I do remember with clarity:

(1) Don’t play in the street.
(2) Stay back from the raging creek after a downpour.
(3) Don’t talk to strangers.

Others come to me now with mundane activities:

(1) Turn off the water while brushing your teeth-it saves on the water bill.
(2) Clean your plate.
(3) Snipping the threads of each sewn seam as you proceed-saves time in the end.

My Mom, your Grama, was a strong willed women, straight as a willow branch whipped by the winds of the times she endured. She was tall graceful—a dancer-singer her beauty was ageless. Sacrificing her potential for her Husband and the pride of her life, three Daughters, leaves a visual record burnt into the back wall of my memory.

“Because I Said So,” was the catch phrase—the punctuation mark that caused me to stop short like a cutting horse in a dust cloud. When the dust settled and our eyes met I knew who was the “Boss”. Even then I took a strange comfort in knowing who was boss.

Respect allows a heart and mind to trust and willing follow. The time for negotiating is over and willing submission is the favored choice. When the choice was rebellion the consequences were administered to bring self-control and balance back to our family. It was a learning time for the entire family for those watching, receiving and giving.

(1) If I didn’t pick up my toys they disappeared and there weren’t many to begin with.
(2) If I didn’t come home from the neighbors on time the next time I had to come home earlier or not go at all.
(3) If I back-talked my Mom I got a spanking, for willful disrespect.

I don’t remember having many choices and when I did I knew it was a special time and I should choose wisely. I paid attention to the teaching of , “Because I Said So”. If I had not had the base of those teachings from birth to 11 years of age the teen years would have been more of a struggle than they were. In the earlier years I had a healthy fear of Mom and Dad. Fear that reminds one who the boss is and what the boundaries are that keep you safely in the will of the Parents and God; while bring the benefits of being part of an affirming group--love, acceptance, nurturing, affiliation and, security—“The Family”. God invented, “The Family”, as a forum to deal with our enate selfish nature. We are born rebellious and self centered . The baby cries—wants everything NOW!

The same goes as we grow. If Mom had not with held something I would not know how to self discipline. It must have pained her so to step in many times and administrate the discipline so the next time I would learn to do it my self and avoid the trauma of the correction and the unpleasant consequences that followed.

Melanie, I had a very tender heart as you did we only needed the, “Eye”, from our Mother as a warning, it was time to think about self discipline. Then there are the other kind—like my Sister, Debbie. She would have melt downs—stomp around-throw things. It took more scarify by Mom to break her will without breaking her spirit. Always with the goal of teaching that security is one of the benefits to being part of a family and to let her know she was wanted but; she must submit to the will of the leader. Therefore; the balance returns to the Family.

God is all about balance, that is why HE warns us of those things which distract us from the focus on HIM. It is GOD and HIS WORD that instructs us and teaches us how to be submissive members of his Family. All through the scriptures there are stories about members of his Family who needed correction and he gave it sometimes in the form a heavy hand and sometime he gave the people just what the wanted until they realized it was not what God wanted for them because He knew they could not handle it. It was at that time they turned and willing followed—broken will not broken spirit. Many times God will whisper and sometimes shout, “Because I Said So”.

In those early years Mom and Dad had distraction which kept them from God’s WORD. And, I believe their children’s willful behavior and their constant desire to send us on our path as confident, nurtured, obedient, productive individual brought great stress and confusion to their relationship. But, the one pervasive ideal I bring to this day is: I was loved, cared for, provided for, I belonged and above all they were the bosses of my world and I trusted and respected them with all of my heart. This is God’s purpose for Family his Family-that we who are called by His Name will turn from our willful ways and submit to Him—He will be faithful to be called our God and we will be His Family.

Isn’t He awesome how He allows us to struggle daily with our families here on Earth as a model of a Greater Family above? “As it is on Earth so it will be in Heaven”

I love you and am so proud of you as a women and a leader of your Children, along side your Husband. Keep up the good work and know you are blessed among women because He has entrusted you with two image bearers of Christ Jesus, which comes with His owner’s manual, The Bible.

Love,
Mom (Grammy)